Molly is constantly reminding me to exercise.

“You’re not a young man,” she says. “You need to stretch and give that heart of yours a workout.”

So wise for a pre-teen.

Anyway… every week, I plan one afternoon of walking to the diner for one of Joe’s Hamburgers.

Joe’s Burgers has been owned and operated by my friend Nik Dracodopolus for decades. Why not call it “Nik’s Burgers? I have asked him several times and he has responded, “Mister Buster, it’s a family secret. Just like the recipe to my hamburgers.”

His hamburgers are seriously unique. I’ve never tasted anything like them in any other place or time. (You know I’ve traveled quite a bit…) He mixes each patty with a secret blend of spices and cooks them on the grill in such a way that they are the tastiest, most juicy burgers in the world.

Recently I noticed that business was slow in the diner. I was sitting at my usual table and Nik sat down for a chat.

“Things are not looking good around here lately, Mister Buster. I’m thinking about closing the place,” he said.

“That’s crazy, Nik,” I said. “What happened?”

“It’s all of this… internet stuff. I don’t even use it myself… but it’s making a huge impact on my business.”

“How so?” I asked.

“Well… there’s this thing called an App… goes on phones. This App thing is called Yelper or Yelpy… something like that….”

“My sister-in-law uses it. i know what you are talking about.”

“Anyway… Remember when I had that flood last fall?” He waved his hands toward the bathrooms.

“Oh, yeah,” I said remembering the water damage. “You had to close down for a couple of weeks.”

“Right,” He said snapping his finger. “Well, there were people here when that happened. They got on that Yelpy App thing and posted some terrible reviews about my diner. They wrote about the smell and how someone slipped…. they gave my diner a one star out of five rating… or so I’ve been told.”

“And these reviews really hurt your business?”

“Yes. All of the vacationers that visit our local beach, that would normally stop by for a bite to eat, now go somewhere else because of the horrible reviews on that Yelpy App thing. It’s awful!” He paused and rubbed his neck. His face reddened. “If I could only go back in time and stop that toilet from overflowing. Things would be so different right now.”

I took a bite of my burger and considered the possibilities. “If only you could,” I said.

Bft-voice command interruption—–778-ph/555001 alert alert—–657— Alert—– Tube 58—- Tube 58—– Bft-voice command interruption—–778-ph/555001

Oh, nuts. Tube 58 just blew. Will have to finish this tomorrow.

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